After returning to LA from Burning Man four months ago I thought, 'I've had enough with LA'. It was not one thing that turned me off from LA it was a combination of things, people asked if I was leaving because of the new president, I said it was more because of FaceBook and texting, I felt I was loosing touch with the real world by living too much online and too much in my head. I don't think these things are bad in of themselves, but I felt that my life was out of balance and I didn't see that balance shifting if I remained.
It wasn't the first time I'd entertained the idea of moving from LA, in fact ten years ago I moved to Barcelona for a year and a half, it seemed that whenever I'd reach a low point in my life the idea of moving would usually crept up. I often said that if there was any other place that was calling me I would go there is a heartbeat, yet nothing was calling me. But this year I had a very strong feeling, I didn't want to launch into doing another big art project, throw my whole existence into it, and then wake up a year from now in the same boat I'm in today. This was the tipping point for me, the thought that motivated me to finally take action.
It's now been almost three weeks and I have to say that I couldn't be happier with my decision. I am coming to understand more and more that the idea of living simply is more than just a concept. It is a little hard to explain but I feel that living in the 'big city' my mind was always aflutter with all kinds of different ideas, what should I be doing now, who should I see, where should I eat, what's next, what direction should I be focusing on, there was always something. Not just something, there were always too many things and that was a problem.
The biggest realisation I've made here is how 'I' centric my life was in LA. I felt that I had to carve out and create a grand identity in order to be seen, or even to exist, in LA. There are so many sparkly things in the big city I felt I had to sparkle even more brilliantly just to be noticed. It was exhausting and unsustainable.
The little town I am now living in is known for yoga and surfing and I thought that maybe that's what I would do for a few months. Yet when I got here I realised I had been called here, called here for a different reason. I was called here to be living and breathing amongst a billion living things. Without hardly trying it is easy to get swept up into the vibration of this place. I would say that being an artist and a healer has probably assisted me in my sensitivity to this vibration. Whatever the case I am grateful for it.
Here I can take a step away from the 'I-ness' that has defined me for so long. It is easy to sit in the jungle, to feel the life force all around and not to feel like I have to 'do' anything. Of course this is completely a state of mind and it would be possible to feel the exact same way anyplace, in LA, in New York City, Tokyo, anywhere. It is like that saying that wherever you go there you are, you can't run away from your problems and neither can I. And yet different places do have different energies. Different things will come up for you if you are sitting on a tropical beach or in a war zone. It is possible to have any state of mind in any place, but much easier to have a peaceful state of mind in a peaceful place.
There is a tradition here for everyone to go out to the beach at sunset. The other night I said to someone that people who are able to stay here must be people who are ok with being happy and they knew exactly what I meant. It is not that this is a better place than any other, but there are less distractions here and fewer 'things to make you happy'. Actually there are a million things here to make someone happy, but few of them are things that are owned, the sunset, the breeze, the ocean, the jungle. It is the very act of living that brings joy not any material thing.
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I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!